i don’t know who else to turn to anymore.
i think i may be depressed and have an anxiety disorder and i’m 16 by the way.
i feel sad, lonely, ashamed of myself, scared, sick all the time. i don’t go out, or talk to anyone.
i have no motivation to do anything and i feel so worthless.
everything in my mind is negative.
if i do say anything, i will apologise for saying it.
i have no self esteem, i used to be creative but im to scared of failing at it.
i don’t remember the last time i smiled and meant it.
i feel like crying all the time but i can’t. i don’t want my family to know that i still feel bad because it totally destroyed them seeing me like this, i don’t want to hurt them.
my friends abandoned me because i was depressed and i can’t get over it, i had to watch them be for a year being all matey with eachother while i sat on my own in school all day feeling like s***. they would talk really loudly about their plans together for the weekend, they would play mind games. im too scared to make friends incase im rejected. but i have finished school and am going to go to sixth form in september and im scared every1 will reject me because im ugly and sad, shy and i have no life. i have a stutter so i don’t talk much, i have so much to say but it just stops me, i feel like im trapped inside myself.
i can’t sleep cos loads of negative and scary thoughts come into my head, like im gonna feel like this forever and be alone and miserable. i will become a burden to everyone that i know and that they will all hate me in secret.
i cut sometimes too. i hate it, i feel so sick and ashamed at myself, but if i don’t do it i feel like a failure and that i deserve to feel bad and im not worth anything more. i’ve tried to cry my sadness out but i can’t cry. the thought of someone finding out about me cutting makes me feel sick.
also i feel bad because loads of people have had loads of problems in their life like family members dying or being homeless and i’m here complaining about my pathetic excuse for a life, but im so lucky for my upbringing and the things that i have. (apart from feeling like this)
sooooo sorry if you think that i’m being selfish and self centered cos i really don’t mean to take what i have for granted.
i’m not being attention seeking, i have no one to talk to.
i had a counciller, i can’t get another one, we can’t afford it and i’m probably not worth it. i don’t want medication either.
sorry it’s so long, if you read it all thanks so much and i would really appreciate some advice about where icould start to feel better and build in confidence. even if you don’t answer atleast someone will know how i feel. thanks xxxxxxxx
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SORRY I AM SO FU***** ANGRY AT THIS MOM3MN PERSON BECAUSE I’M SURE THEY ARE OUT TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL BAD ABOUT THEMSELVES.
GRRR!!!!!!
sorry, i’m just annoyed with them.
Now, down to your question!
which i’m proud of 
I know what this feels like, well, probably not as bad as you!
Please stop the cutting, it doesnt do anyone any good - i should no - been there done that, going strong with 5 weeks having given up!
You need something to be proud of too - please get help, talk to someone, anyone. Me, organisations, a friend, anyone you trust.
Feel free to email me if you want any advice on choirchick@btinternet.com
Sorry i didnt help much but i am still wound up with this person :-@
good luck and god bless
xxx
Good luck and
you poor thing its horrible feeling like this and you probably dont want to seek attention at all.
your friends obviously are useless and made you feel even worse to begin with. if you talk to someone ie your parents it might help start to build your confidence back before you start 6th form .
I know you feel ashamed but there is nothing to be ashamed of because every teenager goes through shit. However being rejected like you were just crushed you. I’m no expert whatsoever but I went though similar feelings though not as extreme. I’m older now and slightly but not much wiser but you definately have nothing to be ashamed of and talking really helps. Your parents will, or should want to know.
Good luck x
Your problems are very real and important. I had problems very similar in my teenage years. It is very important to tell your parents and they need to get you medical attention immediately. If there is no money they can get help through the state. I know from my own experience there are medications to help. I also lost friends, guess what? They were never your friends. Ignore them tell them to f*** off. Your main job now is to try to get help. You are an individual, you are important, try not to beat yourself up emotionally. And sweetheart please don’t cut yourself it never really helps.
It definitely sounds like you have depression. It is very common. It’s hard when you can’t afford treatment, but there are programs that can help you for free. Talk to your school guidance councilor or go to this website: http://www.ehow.com/how_2102723_receive-free-treatment-depression.html?ref=fuel&utm_source=yahoo&utm_medium=ssp&utm_campaign=yssp_art
Good luck.
You might just be going through a ’spell’ of feeling depressed. People deal with it in different ways… I would suggest to try out some different things, and don’t be afraid of "failing" in them, just realize that maybe they aren’t for you and try something else.
I used to suffer from quite serious depression, and do still do slightly but I tried to find ways of coping. Do you play an instrument? playing an instrument or singing might help you out, and this also might be good to start with because you don’t have to do it with lots of other people around. Art and writing (stories or poetry) is quite a good thing to do yourself too. I do suggest you try and talk to friends though… even though it’s hard, the more you do, the better you feel, even if its just saying ‘hi’ to people or asking about work at school or something. Doing some kind of drama really helped me out, and I really hated drama to begin with, I wasn’t into it at all, but once you get into it you feel more confident about yourself and really start to enjoy it.
If music, art or drama aren’t your thing that doing sport helps you physically, mentally and socially. Believe me! … don’t be afraid of trying out new things. Life is about adventure, so explore it
hope that helped
xx
why do all you teenager think you have something wrong stop watching tv stop absorbing only the stupid shit from the news. there are problems in the world and it is possible you have something. but it is highly likely its just the teenage years. yes they suck but this is the time to learn about yourself and work out who you are.
I have been where you are. I made a support site that is helpful. It helps to talk about it. Trust me i know.
http://selfhelp.yuku.com
i hope you find my site helpful.
Working on your speech and getting control of your stuttering may help everything else!
Try these resources:
http://www.stutteringhelp.org there are videos online that show speech therapists working with stutterers; watch them and learn some techniques.
http://stutteringselfhelp-stutteringselfhelp.blogspot.com/
http://stutteringhelp-bud.blogspot.com/
http://notesonstuttering.blogspot.com/
http://www.friendswhostutter.org/
http://www.stuttertalk.com/
Meet others who stutter here http://groups.myspace.com/stutteringfoundation
http://www.stutteringforum.com
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/stutteringchat/
Stuttering Foundation on Facebook
http://stutteringcantstopme.ning.com/
"Self Therapy for the Stutterer" published by The Stuttering Foundation of America worked wonders for my family members who stuttered after working through it step by step. The book can be found here http://www.stutteringhelp.org/Portals/English/Book_0012_tenth_ed.pdf
Some medications that other stutterers have tried include lorazepam, citalopram, celexa, and buspar. Ask your doctor about trying an anti-anxiety medication while you are working on your stuttering. Be aware that your stuttering may be better than the side-effects of the medication, though.
Each stutterer is different, and a therapist who specializes in treating stuttering will be able to determine what will help you the most as they work with you.
The Foundation also has a list of speech therapists who have been trained to work with stutterers
My uncles who stuttered said that they stuttered worse when they tried NOT to stutter, when they were under stress, and when they were very tired. Try concentrating on what you are saying rather than how you are talking, eliminating as much stress from your life as you can, getting plenty of rest, plus working on your speech using a therapist, the self therapy book, or watching The Stuttering Foundation’s videos and using the things you learn every day.
I highly recommend you check out the ‘Kill Your Stutter’ program,
Its helped me stop my lifelong stuttering from a child.
Check them out here: http://jonblazey.killstuttr.hop.clickbank.net/
Good luck!